To wake up to a down pour seems fitting to the mood I feel inside of me. Emotions flood my mind like the run off of the rain on my roof. I lay back in my bed and with each breath, imagine the water cleansing me, taking the residue of yesterdays fears and clearing my energy so that I can take the next very step closer to delving into writing the manuscript for my first book.
I have danced around it for days, years actually since I am being utterly honest. Have I always been this cautious to take a leap? Or have I simply allowed myself to fall into something? I seem to easily and often find myself in circumstances such as this where the walls of my life have closed in on me and I see only a narrow way out.
Today, I will move a little closer to the opening of myself. I will take these few precious moments of solace and I will face my fear of beginning. The rain is soothing to my soul. It’s as if the rhythm is keeping time with the thoughts to pour my self more consciously into my work. I take another deep breath. My second cup of coffee has long gone cold. I am tired. I have been thinking thinking entirely too much.
What would it be like to hire an official editor? Someone who would walk beside me, coaching me through this process of unending possibilities to get my vision out to the world. It is a sign of weakness? Am I looking once again outside myself for help when the answers are so neatly stuffed inside me waiting to be unfolded? I have spent the better part of my life coaching, inspiring and guiding others on their path through the journey of their lives. What would it be like to surrender to receive help? Is this the help that I am to seek?
I press on. In my quiet resolve of determined faith. The storm has not let up. I have opened up all the windows and the cadence of rain has found a pulse in my determination to trust that I am further on this path to completion than I realize. I have written the story of my life. Now as I reflect on where to take this work I will sit in quiet reverence as my hands move from key to key on my mac. I love that I can write.
A welling up inside me as I realize once again that this is my place in the world.
As I am. Now. In this moment of triumph!
©2015 Te’ Werner
Excerpted from the upcoming book “High Five to Triumph!”
©2015 Photo Te’ Along the River’s Edge, Columbia River, WA
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