Follow the Thread

How many times in your life have you gone off on tangents? Following threads that left you feeling lost from yourself? Sometimes more than days would pass and I would find myself wondering what the hell I was doing. Now this fear becomes such a strong force of determination.

Life has a way of carrying us along, sometimes in a direction that we are not present to. Inspiration fading in and out like waves, sometimes crashing.

All the years that I have taken jobs because of what I thought I should be doing, instead of focusing on what I wanted to do deep down and somehow continued to bury.

How many times over the years had I written about writing this book, any book, “The Book” and not taken the time to sit down on my bum and do the time? Let me tell you it has been a lot of years.

Perhaps one reading this, such as yourself, would say that I was not dedicated enough. Focused or committed. And perhaps, I or another would agree with you. This is the perfect time.

Surely, I had every intention of bowing into the grace of this magnificent universe and completing my first book. Another could say that when the time is right things will come together. I would agree, but I am also learning in my rather “Te’ tangent” way that in following the thread a great deal goes into the tapestry of our life. Life. Some wake up and know what they are to do. And they go and do it. Over and over again. Day in and day out. Sometimes with great joy. Sometimes with great trepidation.

My high five to myself has been to dedicate this moment in time to doing with love what I have longed for within my soul for years. Lifetimes perhaps. I celebrate that this morning I am engaged in just that. Writing.

©2014 Te’ Werner
Excerpted from “Follow the Thread” From the upcoming book: HIGH FIVE TO TRIUMPH

Photo ©Alan Kowalski: Frosted Cable, Along the River’s Edge: Columbia River, WA

Dreams Take Flight – excerpt

054-1 Dragon Fly Golden Wings

Giving dreams flight takes an amazing amount of will power. Sheer grit. Coming from German descendants whose grandmothers had both emigrated from Russia. The strong stubborn will finally kicked in. But first, the universe had a gift of humanity for me to experience once again. One of my dear fellow “river warrior’s” was dying a slow death of cancer.

Each day taking a bit more of her frail body. Her will to fight never wavering. I sat with her. I held her hand and I stroked her thinning hair. She spoke in hushed whispers. It was in the last moments of her life that I held the profound awareness that we all have dreams that we hold onto. Some of us clutch them so tightly that they have lost some of their life force. Some of us are a bit more free to try things and see what happens. Even if it means we may need to try again. Others of us have a great deal of fear and need a bit more coaxing. Some of us, like my dear friend, may pass on without their realizing dreams.

It was at this time that I began to make room for my dreams to take flight. I didn’t know how to go about it. I began to send out this intention into the universe and low and behold, like the great masters before us whose wisdom had led the way for us to experience openings in our own lives.

My dream took the first flight.

I had held my dreams of giving birth tightly to my womb. Bound by fear. The dream of giving birth to a child. The dream of being a published author.

The New Year had approached. I sat with what I wanted to create in my life. Triumph! I had to look up the word in the dictionary to even know what it meant.

A triumph is a victory. To prevail. To succeed. A state of joy. A celebration of jubilation.

As I declared to my sweet lover man that I was going to write my book, he had only one thing to say,

“Well Te’ if you don’t write your book, you will never be able to move on with your life. With our life.”

Was that true? Would I forever be caught in the longing of my dreams that circled around my head like a halo?

I could do this. I would do this. I am doing this. And, so I began…!

©2013 Te’ Werner
Excerpted from “Dreams Take Flight” From the upcoming book: HIGH FIVE TO TRIUMPH

Photo ©2010 Alan Kowalski: Golden Wing Dragon Fly, “Our Backyard Retreat”, WA
follow Te’s journey of triumph

Remembering My Dear Fellow River Warrior

Remembering 13 March a year ago today.

As I awaken gently this morning.
I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and well being.

As I walked along the river with my dog, Bailey.
I felt my heart expand and touch the heavens.

It was only moments after sunrise
when I had awaken.

To learn that my dear friend
had taken her very last breath.

The earth sighed.
The eagles had taken their flight home.

I carried thoughts of you in my mind
repeating the tapes of yesterday.

How long had I watched you
…hold on?

Never wanting to give up.
To fight until then end.

You gave me the determination,
To listen to what is real and true for myself.

And I began again to write,
with a passion well deserved.

Heaven and earth met yesterday
As you passed from this life, unto the next.

Thank you for the nine and a half years of friendship
watching eagles together and talking of health and life.

My vitality merged with your failing body.
My sunshine met the darkness of your disease.

Today we can all gather to remember you
As we each knew you to be.

Until we meet again,
I will look for you when the eagles takes flight.

Returning late next fall
So that we may soar together once again.

Amy M., my fellow river warrior and dear friend.
I send you every blessing for this moment in time.

River Warrior
13 March 2013

©2013 Te’ Werner
Excerpted from “Dreams Take Flight” From the upcoming book: HIGH FIVE TO TRIUMPH

Photo ©2012 Te’ Werner: Eagle in Flight, Along the River’s Edge: Columbia River, WA

Dreams Take Flight

As I held my dying friend’s hand for the last time, I wondered what dreams she had also let die.
What dreams had she held onto that never took flight?

I knew as I walked away from telling her good bye, that I would no longer hold unto my dreams…
I would set them free as I realized just how much life force I had yet to give.

I would begin writing my journey to Triumph!
And, so I began.

My Triumph!

One year ago today I received a call from a publisher asking me about my book. What book? How did they get my cell phone number to call me? I held my phone to my ear in earnest. I found myself sharing a dream of my mine that I had been carrying around for nearly twenty years.
Twenty five years of daily writing. Laments. Dreams. Heart ache. Joys. Inspirations. Page after page in my journals. Filling notebook after notebook. When had I become a writer? The wizard of my own words?

It was amidst the many lines that I wrote between that I began to find my voice. And in the moment that I heard the publisher say that they would be very interested in publishing my book. My first. My passion. I realized that I would have to produce a manuscript. And I began that day to outline the story of my dreams into reality.

It began with a breath. A word. A sentence. The story looming before that I had yet to live. Daily I took steps to get closer to myself. To find the answers to the many questions that I asked. Somedays, my progress seemed impressive. And others it seemed that I had barely moved forward. The fact that I had moved at all astonished me even more.

Having declared triumph in my life.
I only began to fully understand the impact of what this really meant.

So I began my quest to write the story of my life as I lived the moments of each day.
It has been a journey.

A joyous and full experience. My solitude became my nemesis. A daily battle with self.
A sojourn of my soul.

1 they were beaten in the final by their nemesis archrival, adversary, foe, opponent, arch enemy.
2 this could be the bank’s nemesis downfall, undoing, ruin, ruination, destruction, Waterloo.
3 the nemesis that his crime deserved retribution, vengeance, punishment, just deserts; fate, destiny.

In these moments of quiet surrender I found that I had something to share.
I could not continue to live the life in the manner that I was living and remain alive.
That is a rather bold statement to make. One that could be easily misconstrued.

misunderstand, misinterpret, misconceive, misapprehend, mistake, misread; be mistaken about, get the wrong idea about, get it/someone wrong.

Yet I set out each day to make a little more progress on my experiencing daily triumph.
I began to also experience self defeat. When my expectations exceeded reality.

It has taken me many many years to bring this dream forward into my future of the present moment. To share with you my journey has been one of my most courageous acts. I want to thank you now for being a part of my victory. I hope that this writing that I am sharing with you will inspire you to celebrate triumph in your own life.

What is it that you wish to triumph in?

©2013 Te’ Werner
Excerpted from “My Triumph’ From the upcoming book: HIGH FIVE TO TRIUMPH

Photo ©2013 Te’ Werner: “Morning Writing in Sunshine